Sunnydale AU: careful of the curse

[americas_son]

Tina is finally asleep. Richard has been and gone, leaving a mild sedative so she can sleep between transformations. Cal closes the guestroom door quietly behind him, trying to think through his own physical and emotional exhaustion (and low blood sugar, and nicotine withdrawal) to decide exactly where Sherlock will be.

Comments

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Cal nods. He hadn't thought of that, but it's definitely one more thing Tina doesn't need on her list of things to be upset about.

"That's a good idea."

[if_inconvenient]

"I'd be happy to." He looks at Cal. "Would you like to help?"

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"Of course," Cal says immediately.

He gets up and takes his dish to the sink.

[if_inconvenient]

"Then let us go and move some furniture."

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"Sounds like a plan."

And a lot better than sitting around doing nothing except waiting for Tina to wake up.

[if_inconvenient]

He puts the empty pot in the sink and steps out into the hall.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Cal follows him upstairs.

He doesn't feel as tired as before. The sugar and caffeine from the soda are helping. He'll crash hard later, but that's later. Right now, he's fine.

[if_inconvenient]

When they arrive, Sherlock surveys the room.

He knows which one it was, of course, but he has not actually been here in some time. This and that have conspired to keep him away. Dust is starting to collect on the desk, which never happens in this house.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Behind him, Cal inhales, thinking of the last time he was in this room. There's no lingering smell of cologne this time, of course; just slightly stale air.

The chair at the desk is still askew from when Tony pushed it back to follow Cal out of the room. He must have just come back to get the paperwork later, to deal with it somewhere else.

"Is it just me, or has this year kinda sucked?"

[if_inconvenient]

"It is not," he murmurs gently, "just you."

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"Not all bad," Cal says, "but - a lot of it."

He walks over to the desk, tracing his fingers through the dust.

("Or we could get drunk.")

"I miss my dad," he says abruptly.

[if_inconvenient]

Sherlock puts a hand on Cal's shoulder.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"There isn't that much to miss," Cal mutters, looking at the desk. "We didn't even talk that much after - we stopped smoking up together. But I miss him being around."

Reed Chandler had been the liveliest member of the family. The liveliest, and easily the happiest. He could fill up a room with his personality, especially in a quiet, empty place like the Chandler compound. With Grahame gone to LA, and Mother spending so much time in Sacramento being the new Senator Chandler, Cal is beginning to realize just how empty it is.

[if_inconvenient]

Really, the only thing Sherlock can do here is... keep being here.

So he does.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Cal rubs his hand over his face, leaving a small smear of dust on his forehead.

"I thought - I just kept thinking this morning, 'I can't do this again.' What if -"

[if_inconvenient]

He squeezes Cal's shoulder.

"What if what?"

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

When he answers, it's a whisper.

"I had to kill my dad."

Most of the time, reminding himself that Reed Chandler was long gone from that body helps.

Sometimes, when he's tired or it's been a rough day or something has his mind chasing itself in circles, it doesn't.

[if_inconvenient]

Oh.

Oh, Cal.

Sherlock hugs him again.

"It is not at all the same," he murmurs.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"No."

There are no words for the relief he'd experienced when he'd realized that. He doesn't even bother to try to find them. Instead, he says, still near a whisper,

"But I was so scared it would be."

[if_inconvenient]

Holding him will not, Sherlock is well aware, make everything better.

But it is extremely preferable to the alternative.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Cal leans into him, eyes closed hard.

"It's not so bad," he says quietly. "It could be worse. But I don't know how to tell her that without sounding like an asshole."

No one likes the guy who goes around telling people things could always be worse, especially when he's not the one they're happening to.

[if_inconvenient]

"Oh, yes. It could always be worse. But sometimes knowing that does not particularly help."

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

"I know."

Cal can think of ways in which every one of the shitty things that have happened could be worse.

(if he hadn't had his laserpointer, if he'd been alone in New York that night, if he hadn't stopped Tony in time to keep him from reaching the seal -

If he hadn't decided to go to Angela's party that night . . .)

It really doesn't help.

[if_inconvenient]

So, hugs.

[americas-son.livejournal.com]

Cal holds on to him, thinking of how Sherlock held him as he finally cried for his father.

(He hasn't cried over it since.

He doesn't know if he'd be able to stop.)

He's nowhere near tears this time, though; he breathes carefully for a moment, composing himself, then says,

"The furniture's not gonna move itself."